part of this world but not of this world ; i'm

i wasn't aware that 2010 is coming to an end till i read the many fb status.. i was fb stalking everyone, all.. haha..

i'm updated and tune myself a little nearer to this world..

tired... tired about everything that's constantly circling my mind.. i need to steer my mind and set it on a right path... i need to break free...

freedom without limits.

christmas.. love and sharing..

-it's gonna be christmas in a few hours time

-it's gonna be my 8th week in bmt

both must be celebrated, exaggeratingly.

i'm actually staring at my army phone constantly waiting for smses in camp, like some noob. haha.. i'm hoping there are more messages for me to read, at least then, i won't realise that i've already detached from the world.

i try to find the balance. meeting as much friends i can every book out. it makes me feel a little more connected this way. i guess that SOL week really pinch me hard, (sol- stoppages of leaves.. I MISFIRED!) it's such a sad friday when i called my mum to inform her i won't be booking out. i tear..

ahha sounds like some sad story.. but guess what.. my mum is just epic.... she"nvm lor.. i finally can have 1 weekend for myself" follows by a.. HAHAH.....

completely spoils mood....

希望 和 期待

i miss you

beginning and ending...

i'm enlisting army in about 8hrs time... a little everything i'm feeling..

nervous, scared, excited, tired, hungry

to be exact and factual, lost....

闭上眼, 用心想着明天时

明天... 在睁开眼后, 来了..

i need a 月光宝盒 too...

i wonder if anyone reading know bout this movie..

<大話西遊>

haha was one of my favorite movie of all time..

there is 2 parts to it.. the 3rd episode will be out soon i guess.. =)

(i really wonder who understand what i talking here, speaking some ah pei term, the movie released on 1995 haha!)

well sharing an emo song with some clips of the movie..

reminds me of you...

pre ns syndrome... i need a run away....

也許老天真的对你不公平但是老天又真的对谁公平过呢?

this enormous depression..

go away please..

so nice to be welcomed back by many friends.. embrace by their love and care.. i feel so fortunate.. =)

i was told by my dentist i might have the chance to take out my braces before NS.. haha what a great news.. i've been wearing it for the 6th year now (yes i know is damn long)..

ytd (i forgot how it got there) when i briefly told shiming my face is like not symmetrical before i put on braces(suppose to be a joke).. the 2 choong suddenly :"ya ya ya.. i remember HAHA!"

super -_-" can??

then again... life have really undergo serious changes in this 7 years i got to know the choong brothers..

i still rmb wayne told me 7 is like a special number to him.. because it took him that amount of time to officially become a leader..

hmm.. frankly speaking deep inside my heart.. i hope 7 can be special for me too...

no longer i wanna be bounded by some nonsense reluctant half minded indecisive faith... help me....

"the greatness of a man's power is the measure of his surrender"

after 17 days of travelling......

just got back from backpack/climbing trip.. =)

more than experience i've retrieve..

i sorta understand now why others says NS set ppl thinking.. for not much chance you will receive such long period of time to just sit around, read a book, think of what's the next move...

i've never felt so helpless, so clueless of what's life is..

he,crowd lu, sang it just right...

there's just too much things i wanna do, refuse to miss.. but then so what's after i've accomplish them?

i just hope many year from now, looking back, my history shall be His story.... =)

不管在那 只要我用心想着你

之间的距离似呼靠近一点

i'll see you soon

don't really like bye bye....

prefer 再见.. like telling each of us.. we're gonna meet again...

haha...

一围一围的难题

给今天套上一层雾

迷蒙了我的视力

但

倔强的我相信

明天以然美好 =)

thursday is coming..

17:5 使徒對主說,求主加增我們的信心

正当烦恼涌上头脑的顺间，接到你在手机影幕的暖喧 "hahahahahahha"

不知道是不是我傻了 还是你的刚好 动摇了我封闭的思序

想把所有都往你那抛

好久好久没有这强列的冲动 有一点不习惯 也感到一点凸兀

不明白 会不会是来临的NS 赶着我想完成一些什么

haiz... 想到我一天一天的接近 心冷心凉啊! hahaha

从计划每个明天 到即将让陌生人规划你 1yr 10months, monday to friday..

须要时间来接受

他们说 我在那也能得到不少收货

可能吧

但总觉得在那的收货不reciprocal to "不亲愿的"付出..

不知道la!

一切的担犹,希望在见到你之后都瓦解.. =)

where's your heart tonight?

haha.. classy jay chou's song..

a day with more than 20hrs of sleep

maybe it does make a difference.. maybe i can make a difference...

i'm feeling ill now... vomit like mad the whole day, must be that kimchi fried rice ytd night after climb.. zzz.. i only ate a piece of bread and 5 mouth of noodle(i can count) since kimchi.. wow like some extreme losing weight programme.. haha..

taking photo of daddy using his phone

then force daddy to see.. HAHA!

i took these at chong pang hawker after kayaking lesson with chow & vanga at sembawang wv.. =)

hey!

-number the days

again and again

it's my very very first ww trip with friends of my same age... finally they lighten the burden of those funny sacarsm from all the ah pei (yes all the previous trips it was me and all the uncle) HAHA...

i really enjoy myself... and again(never fails) i come back appreciating my life even more, giving birth new dreams/hope/visions/ideas..

ah~ the river... =)

the upcoming river gang

i'm tremandously happy to see their smiley face on our way back in our comfy small van.. as though the trip was the prize of those many trngs we commit.. many more descent to come pals! and many more sambal we'll swallow at malaya friends! hahah...

God have been generous and merciful to me..

my rock shoes which was just 2 mths old got herself a mouth right at the tip.. i was really demoralise by it.. i was afraid it could't last till the coming rock trip.. but He's always providing..

when i was complaining to the air bout the shoe, mum heard me.. and you guess it.. she gave me the life-saving amount of $200 to buy myself a new pair... =)

i appreciate much.......... allez!

well definitely i'm still excited about ipoh, climbing... but while i was browsing thru my fav site youtube.. this just caught my eyes..

this which i had been dreaming since young...

this which is the reason i can stare to the sea for hours..

this have always made me ask my friend ,who wanna get something for me from overseas, to just simply bring back a photo of their local beach....

this

-surfing

btw i change my template music.. go listen... =)

you who made me smile..

if there is anyone who is reading this post... i just wanna tell you.. i'm thankful YOU existed in my life..
not taking into consideration the time we've spent..
or what we've done/create neither considering how important it is...
even you there who just briefly know me..

i hope you can
please remind yourself of only how i smile looking at you..
or how i laugh with my loud irresistible expression HAHA! BHB!

because.. i'm happy and thankful for how you've shaped my life...



been posting lots of video recently.. don't get bored you there..
i'll be grabbing photos this coming national day at whitewater kayaking!
so wait for my next.. =)

L.O.V.E

hear with only your mind(brain) and u will only hear what is correct
see with only your mind and u will only see what is reasonable
speak with only your mind and u will only speak forth justice

so
hear with also your heart and u will hear also with compassion
see with also your heart and u will see also the truth
speak with also your heart and u will speak also with authority(power)

therefore
LIVE with not just your mind.. BUT.. live with your heart..
and you will live off a life of love..

for
if the most vital part of a human body is the heart(that actually makes everything possible).. then the most important virtue for human would be love..
for the greatest of these is love..



fly my heart to where she belongs..

suicidal (?) (!) (.)

such fragile....



life......
memories that's haunting me....

失望

felt so bad.. especially when expectation is not met...

paisei ah mum... =/
给我一点时间..
整理一下心情,继续走下去..

gy-trips ahead-rawr!

i wonder what jel want me to write? haha...
anyway maybe she wants me(or i personally hope so) to wish my missing 3 weeks buddy ng gy...
thanks so much for the day of fun and gathering..

to our gonnabe officer, work your very best jiao wei!
for you



alright there isn't much blog worthy stuff that happened recently but definitely what's ahead..

whitewater trip on national day (think 4 days)
climbing trip @ipoh,KL (guess 9 days?)
outdoor education conference 2010 @ oct

driving test (this fri)
hopefully L1 assessment part II
and refresh courses for my 1st aid licence soon

i need a runaway....

when the table turns and pieces form to a picture...

on bus 168 to tamp

i always wonder why they can be so creative just to air their armpits....???



i know u are not suprise... in the train asking yourself why they are not grabbing the railing just beside them but choose to stretch their arms all the way to the roof to balance themself...
ask yourself no more... like me, PRESUME that they just need to air their armpits...

okie aniway he sat beside me in the bus(wasn't some photo i grab on stomp alright)
i was waken by a sudden plunge of odd oder in the atmosphere... and there i found myself in such an unwelcoming position..
as if he tries to suffocate me with his smelly underarms..
what a way to treat the local's youth...zzz...

i just came back from jf and wy's chalet.. =)

yeah for father's day i grab a bottle of beer for dad... hopes he likes it..



a song for you.... =]



sudden thought of you.. thank you very very much!

未经一番寒彻骨 焉得梅花扑鼻香

I SHALL NOT BE DISTRACTED..
I SHALL NOT BE DEMORALISED..
I SHALL NOT BE SWAYED..
I SHALL NOT BELITTLE MYSELF..
I SHALL NOT BE LAZY..
I SHOULD CONQUER!!

chiong arrrr.....!! haha...

一样的天空 不同的承诺, 我赤裸的双腿 将踏出幸福的地图!

老爸

this sunday....
father's day....

it's my chance... =)

slow down, change ur gear.. for the sloppy roads ahead.....

patience is the ability to wait with great attitude under immerse pressure

have i really been patience to those problems in my life?
did i press on? (or had i ran away?)
all this thinking have circling at the perimeter of my brain..
it brings much sorrow, grief and most of all regrets....
what exactly have i done all this while?
what exactly have i done all this while?
what exactly have i done all this while?!?!

nothing.......

i'm still lazy, unmotivated.. (as usual)
i picked up a few sports.. grow some muscle.. got a little tanned..
did a diploma
what else?!

i'm still struggling financially
relationship with dad are still hanging half dead there
i still can't focus (ironically i made a presentation on power of focus on oral com and scored an A hahah)

i'm really a MAC trailer with a volvo engine!
where's the :"you got 1 life to spare" &
"peperation meeting opportunity" 16yrs old young chap with hugh dreams and great determination wwent?
now i'm just like playing table tennis -meet another problem/racket?.. nvm i'll just touch it and go another problem that are easier to solve..... being more vulgar i'm now being a LPPL!
when/how the hell my BREAKTHROUGH gonna come this way?!!

all this while i've not been patience with my "moutains".. allowing it to intimate me....
(when i typed this i suddenly remembers how impatience i was with eugene.. i'm so sorry chow... haha.)
need some change, desperately..
i gotta start packing my bag and start walking and stop talking.... hhaha....

really like how switchfoot(band) got their names from surfing term... switching foot to get a better stance to ride the waves...



time to switch my rusty foot.....

(re)joy

wanted to post something long... talks bout what happen recently... haha..
think i'll leave that to next one....

i've been tremendously bless lately
and there's this joy that i realise(from FB's photos i was tagged haha) i can't hide flowing out of me thru my smile..
it makes me wanna give(in everyway, to everyone, all)..
in short i fell in love with EVERYBODY again..
like peace drenching me on a cloudy day....
like the clock move a second slower every ticks, just to double every happy second for me..

the morning, the air and all those butterflies are for me and you..

i've been keeping my hopes unbroken

it's been around for some time but recently i re-appreciate it
this song just copy-paste my mind..



maybe that's what i need to do...
maybe i am
or maybe i'm just thinking too much

"unafraid what's ahead"..

i just love jack johnson much..

thank You

today i'm no longer poor..

at heart,soul,mind,social life and my dear pocket.. WOOTZ!
ty boss for my pay and some loot i grab
ty gy for the nice time at geylang(sound erotic) haha...
THE FREAKING CHEENA NOODLE IS DAMN WORTH THAT KUKU 4 DOLLARS!!!

k.. nuff nonsense.. meow... =)

i wanna have some fun!

what a meow meow today...
got to do kayaking orientation for nus-someidunnowhichhall-student.. learn a lot from ah sim(gangster).. went to round seletar island from sembawang... haha btw wy got stung by jellyfish wtf-ish man...

meow meow ytd, the day before and the previous day
i got to do 1 star for SOTA... ah.. pretty nice ppl..
somehow i felt so much difference in teaching and attitude towards kayaking compare to other co-instructors... random...

went bbq ytd at wayne's hse.. haha.. i like that damn lefttheretorot cny biscuit!
i appreciate... =)



i was staring this on my way back singapore
the sky makes me sleepy
我想 诺无其事的 不去做 不去想 不敢梦
寂寞 也可能算是一种解脱
i wanna be brand new... =)

bye =)

poor toes for that chio bu

yes yes yes lots to tell..... haha..

1st..
passed my bloody diploma! hahaa.. wootz!!!

2nd
expedition with water venture was a fruitful experience...
kayaked back flo semb and pasir ris (nb punggol water seriously tmd dirty)..

lastly..
i'll be leaving for (yes u guess it correctly i decided to be penniless from now till may) my whitewater course tonight! haha..
i sometime just question myself why i can be so "brave" leaving my month with not a single cent to spare.. haha.. maybe that's just me... i just can't afford opportunity to slip pass me..

*during expedition
vanga : " aye why u no girlfriend ah? stupid peranakan.. "
lard : "er......... aye......... hahhhahahhaa... diam la indian.."

anyway i was working at bedok reservoir on a pontoon.. then i was staring this si bei chio cjc canoeist... and kicked my toes to the anchor bar.. nao hya!!! very pain AH and very chio AH! haha... (z-enk toes)
lame..

very 无聊

wow si bei sian ah stuck at home with a injured foot, raining outside and the only thing left for me to do is clean up my room... ZZZ!



发现想念的
不是十七岁的那爱情
而是十七岁的.. 自己..
=)

decision making...

caught book of eli... no comment.. just know that don't catch movie on 2am like us, lun gy da and birthday boy-yz!... haha...

alright wish lun have nice 21days in taiwan.. with army! haha...

i can really sense some goodness floating towards me.. yes... floating..
there will be a whitewater kayaking course soon for me.. and i'm on a dilemma like the previous time whether to go not.. cos it will cost me bloody $630 this time round...
consideration..
1. i will need to take a total of 8 days leave(from my 1st 20 days of work) haha... boss will kill me if it's legal..
2. i've exactly $630 ytd(POSB coincidentally mocking)... i'm gonna need to pay for my insurance soon,today.. that means... zzz haha x2!
3. (assume i raise that money and go for the trip) i'll left with $0 for the next 27days of the month!!!

and that's also the same exact situation the previous time! omfg...............
just send some cash down pls jehovah.. haha...

cycling bodohs'

ytd went back wrs to play basketball! ahhaa...
dumb fun!!! but now my feet a bit z-enk(swollen)... bo bian used running shoes play bb ta bai like that... haha..

mon went cycling at malaysia with chow and gy.. haha... tmd fun...


after we came back then straight chiong to ECP for my new found hobby(i know chow and gy was bit tired.. but i chose to ignore and smoke them to..)
WAVEBOARD!!! haha.... si bei fun... board till 8 plus.... WOOO!!!! then dinner at subway till 10 i think....
i hope some kind soul will buy me one.... =)
bloody $149 selling at ecp...

也不就这样.. =)
my new idol (right after jack johnson, switchfoot, 五月天, kobe, j kidd, eric jackson, adam ondra, kelly slater etc...... haha can't seems to finish listing)
yvon chouinard......

before sleep..

i'm done with school.. bit lost..
well i got a job the very next day i finish the last paper.. haha..
many thanks..

怀念看海的时候
怀念看下去的勇气
怀念过去的一点一滴
haha always got emo before bed..



突然好想......

byebye chang

bye bye
i enjoy this 6 years with you(although u this 2 years flying back frequency lessen.. tmd..) thanks for everything from the stuff you gave me to the lesson you taught me..
and i know u gonna soon start work in aus soon.. which also means even slimmer chance for you to return and spend your life away with our nonsense.. haha..
愿你一切顺风 my friend.. julian chang.....

when i forced him to watch switchfoot's concert with me.. haha

just 7 days/a week to the last day of school...
有一点小紧张.. haha.. all to be well.. =)

幸福在那?

btt passed.. =)
new year is coming.. home finally feels a bit like we're gonna celebrate.. i saw some soft drinks in the fridge and 1 pack of ruffles(which gonna be mine haha).. and food for our steamboat + watching tv session..

my mind doesn't want to.. but my body, habits, is reacting like you..
no matter how much i dislike.. i find so much similarities between you and me..
nahh...
i won't forgive myself if i would to age like you..
dad.

希望下一站就是幸福....
-stepping off to become a responsible man..

wake me up when my train finally arrive...

you'd be my train?
bring me far far away....

無名 lilian

我很喜歡別人問我問題
因為思考的感覺非常好
每當頭腦在運作時
就特別有存在感
讓我有種活著的感覺
忘記了看似很好
實際卻有如行屍走肉般的生活

最近很高興看到身邊好多的好朋友們
臉上都帶著幸福的微笑
其實我也任憑所有可以幸福的機會四處流竄
我嘗試
我接受
我認真去感受
但....這之間總覺得少了些什麼?

我找不到之前那份屬於我的熱情
也感受不到生活中應有的激情
微笑的背後是用敷衍的態度在過著每一天
聽起來似乎有點苟延殘喘
就這樣一天過一天
每一天我都好像呼吸著最後一口的空氣
跟明天說再見的同時
明天...就來了

wow 無名美女 also got 内涵 wor.. haha... very interesting post she wrote..

就这样过了我的一天

went swimming just now.. random right? i was watching 康熙來了 then spill my cup of water on floor..
was playing the water on ground with my feet.... then you know what happen.. xD got too happy/excited playing la.. haha...
went rp's haha!

aye guys aussie shit is back... so tuck in ur legs so u can spring out of ur couch when i sms you...

haha.. julian is back till 25th.. wtf again he dua us by giving us short notice and no time to meet..
alright i can smell lots of outing coming... hopefully.. =)

it's been so long i can't rmb how long.. i'm gonna have a sea/water-less, rock-less, rope-less saturday tomorrow...
haha..

i'm pretty lost(and some extent sian + lonely) cos my friends are all busy and know that my sat is always not available.. (just now when i ask lian out tomorrow.. he:"tomorrow? i tot ur sat is forever burned? why not we meet sunday") what?! aussie haven been back sg for at least a year.. how he know?! so that's how my last year was too?
and shitty sunday i got trng.. =/

maybe i should just give myself some slag and start meeting out with friends again... or maybe i should just train harder on weekdays then weekend might be free! haha..
well just 26 more days till i'm done with last paper and waive good bye...
就这样过了三年..

how i hope u ask me out... =)

hello.. xD

i just done my L1 coach lesson last week end.. and is really nice to meet shukor... (when i told ai chin shukor taught us.. she: "haha.. hit jackpot liao").... indeed...what a great teacher..
~in youth we learn, in age we understand..

thanks for the lesson and great experience.. =)

today totally off form at climb asia lor... think because i'm just recovering from the bad flu i got from last tue climb(wanna act pro, then force myself to climb a lot more routes = immunity system down...) haha..

when i just part with eug from climbing then he sms this shit

chow: i'll travel across the land, searching far and wide.. each pokemon to understand, the power that's inside.. POKEMON, it's you and me. I know its my destiny......... etc (the whole song)

me : WTF IS THAT ABOUT??!!!

chow: nothing

me: wtf...................................................................

chow: just for laugh ma..... ;)

i think he climb too much.... haha..
aye do rmb we have to meet to discuss bout wv's expedition k...... wow... lots of work ahead!

and

i enjoy my yesterday! hehehehe.... =P
thanks for making my day smiley....

napfa yeah!~

I PASSED MY NAPFA..... FULL MARKS!! hahha.. lame... did't expect that..
but it comes with great effort and trng.. and it all pay off well.. =)
thanks a lot!

went climbing on tue with chow and gha.. and i brought chalk bag without chalk to climb.. haha.. derrrrr....
but it all turns out well.. cos eug bought me a bag of new chalk! haha..



i signed up for climb asia membership and it cos me 40$... sian.. then might be buying new harness too (jacob pass me $30 voucher whoo!).. so this week might have $100+ extra expenses... ahhhh....
haha.. hoping a lot of cny then..
okie next week tue meiqi coming to climb with us.. wonder if she would join us for long.. then she'll be the 1st girl that join us climbing! haha..

i'm pretty confuse.. =/
but am happy cos am still happy..

hey

will blog when i come home later from napfa... wonder how i will do?

wonder how are you.... =)

photoish post...

took quite a few photos lately... just wanna keep some mental and physical image of these random moments.. haha..

alright ytd i came home early.. and when i went into my room.. there's an unfamiliar and unfriendly scent... then i realise what is it.... haha...

eug i think u know why...it all started from the last natural wall climb... the yr 1 followed us.. and mr kind here was generous enough to prostitute my rock shoes... haha... but the worst part is i forgot to air it, till the next climb session which is bout 1 week later at climb lab..
then now got this strong salted fish smell that refuse to go.. (contain i guess 4-5 foot sweat) haha... DAMN!





so it is now PR to my window.. well-aired..
with my chalk bag beside.. best buddy.. =)

and to my delight! mummy wash my trek shoes for me.. hhaha...........
u must be asking when i used my trek shoes lately that i need washing... YES! u are not wrong... right back from KK the last i time i used (oct).. haha...
mum ask me i wanna preserve the soil i bought back from there is it... hahha... random..
she quite humorous ah? nice try girl! =D


oh yeah then wanted to post this note i made this morning.. cos that alfiyan and vijay is late for class (as usual) for TMD near to 3 hrs.. mr kind again tot of making notes for them, so my hand writing must be neat...

well you can see i gave up after 1st line the word "change".. hahaha... ironic..

oh ya not to forget.. LOTS OF YAKULT....

and having fun disturbing lab aunty at yakult factory.. hahhaahhaaha
feeling lots of misses here... =/

uncle killer

my distorted fingers.. with chalk
yeah just came back not long from climbing.. today is pack with LOTs of ppl at climb asia.. don't even have a wall without having to queue.. =/
(as usual gy ps me.. jewelry sick ah.. bo bian.. gf > lard.. haha..)
i got to talk to daniel and surprisingly he know lim(basketball coach)! actually i saw lim on his FB la.. then lead him to the topic.. haha.. i damn pro.. =P what a small world...
i really think i mixed well with all ah pei... haha... uncle killer~

okie this sat do rmb u have ur L1 coach lesson and
tml 9 MUST reach school for site visit to yakult factory.. =)

haha

officially missing you

it wasn't that nice when i heard it last year forgot when.. but now.. it sounds pretty =)....

this few days is really chaotic, rushing all kinds of project... the earthquake com gave me a pleasant suprise... haha! i could't believe my own ears when they told me our done-in-3days-given 1month-assignment made it to the finals... omg...
okie now still have

1. geotech - PBL
2. PC tech - Hotel new world investigation
3. steel - mini project
4. safety inspection
5. geomatics field work
6. microbes assignment

doesn't sound at all easy..
been running this rat race.. time to look up and ahead..
maybe i just need a good nice hug and "well done".. FAT HOPE!
shallow minded..

next tues climbing with jacob, 's wife and friends.. and gy!

满头脑都是你

满头脑都是................. HAHAHHA (not porno okie, horny shit heads)

AH!!! study boy..

浪漫手机

i've repeatedly delete what i typed.. i'm just out of my mind now..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


thanks for singing my mind.. =)

2010

hahahahahahahaha....put me on a carousel.
i just realise not long ago i'm talking to myself again... yes i know i have this habit.. but for 2 hours?
it just too confusing for me to understand.. that once again i need to use talk-to-myself to find some sense and logic.... you kept circling.. i'm dizzy..

lately dan's mum predicted my character just by looking at my signature.. i went slient and she asked "not correct ah? hmm".. it was nothing of that... i was so shock that i can't put any words out of my mouth. i was so predictable? damn......
the days ahead looks so promising yet lonely..... happy 2010..
haha maybe gy is right... =)









maybe.