Christmas differently

merry christmas..

this christmas is a special one..
the usual will be filled with good foods, new faces and many laughter...
this one had most of that too but with many more decision concerning the future..

im glad. the cg with God's grace have grown.
i give thanks not just to my fellow members but also really to other cg leaders and members who stood by us.. it was a much needed help... and im just happy to see things fall in place, like there's an order and system around, felt safe and definitely way more confident (in being able to complete the works) than when we started.....

maybe.. THAT was lay out in front of me in such manner deliberately for a purpose.. i mean i dont really learn a lesson out of this but i have definitely experience changes in my life.. what's better is my perspective have also widen thru this season..

thru the whole 2013 i've not really think about what's gg ahead for me.. maybe is the start of school that busy my life out.. it is only this season or technically this month, more specifically the exact moment derrick left for his exchange..
i've pre-am myself that without my leader around things would (naturally) go out of hand in the cg.. so many weeks i did try to talk myself out over and over again haha, its a good mental prep..
but i didt anticipate the many life decision that would come to stack ontop which was totally unprepared..

i choose
to shun away talking about it to others.. i wanted some space for myself to really think about it....
i mean i can really read what's in their mind of my friends once i shared these... and i really do not want to burden them with these... or truthfully i just not want to hear what i knew they will tell me...

i dont want to hear those words of encouragement, always felt it is cheap.......

coming to the mid of december i was really worn out by the vision (or i called it expectation then) of the cg...
i just cant think of a logical explanation for me to cont doing the works of God at THAT moment....
like there's so many impt decision and thoughts i must make regarding to my life than the cg's

but there i found it..........

there is such an immerse presence in this.. like it pierce right to the main flow of blood in my heart, it skipped a beat..

motivating me in such manner.. haha.... definitely His ways are always higher......
MY life to begin with is not just bout me........
my comforter, my constant....

因为爱情

触景伤情.

keep climbing

继续
无常

year coming to an end. many targets for the year yet complete.
ahhh
我真的感觉到了
在需要做决定的阶段
好多不喜欢
成长是接受还是突破现实
不确定

提醒自己不能平淡度过
生活
傅着木制地板 闻着微风带来的凉快
看那风铃摇摆 让我感到活着的爽快

心跳 减速
再一次 酝酿 冲次的动力!!

点点滴滴

你好吗?

久等自己再愿写出心情的勇气
终于在今天溢出我压抑的手"碗"
没位了! 没空间了

我看着别人的快乐不感到嫉妒
但羡慕 不羡慕他们拥有的
羡慕他们的坚定 能坚持到最后

我也想
在此刻 决定
流不一样的血
掉不一样的泪
我不一样的我

奔跑.
我想再用心冲动一次

夯!

freshday coming

是结束了吗?
就这样,
那为了什么而开始?

不想说
但好像 蠢了一回
不想哭
不想为 你掉眼泪

再告诉我 281天前的自己
白痴!
白痴!
白痴!
白痴 白痴 白痴!

眼前的黑不是黑
你说的白是什么白
人们说的"天空蓝"
是我记忆中那团白云背后的蓝天

形容你的"天空蓝"
是我思绪中那团白云背后的蓝天
是我生命中那些琐碎背后的唯一

想不起 也 对不起...

恶啊..

coming april 16 again

hello...

my future...
你还记得我吗?

remember our dreams? our promises?
be happy... (you must be) you always been..
don't forget how u got by..
don't be lazy...
we have many more to do..
be thankful.....
be filled with gratitude.....

我很多想 说
又不知该 说什么







你还好吗?