Saturday, April 14, 2012

gosh 146 days to ord

i question my existence here in tds.. they don't need me neither am i value adding to their operation. the fact is i'm just waiting to ord. and they are just tolerating me till i ord..

did i commission for this? this "real ops" they always put on their mouth is truly a torturous drag to my life.. i don't feel a single bit happy to serve them and many times it delay my progression as a civilian.. most likely i might need to miss the coming climbing instructor course for i'll be in camp taking care of NSman, watching them slack and laze around in their defense exercise while the Earth continue to revolve mercilessly without them.. not a second spared.. this is what i worked hard for?

where is all the OCS spirit we've talked and discuss? where have all my motivation that brought me out of brunei jungle and overrun taiwan's microwave been? where had my tears from the parade square, after 82 days to commission tekan-ing, after PAC and after the moment i threw my peak cap, flowed to?

all these are superficial? or just a facade SAF built to toy all singapore male youth adult.. because really i've grown to love my country, my possible contribution to the force and my friends working along side.. but now i fell out of love, heart broken and despair..

sucha disgrace i would say to be talking bout this while they appointed me a leadership role when i should be the one (cheesy) lead, excel, overcome and not the one whining..

back to ground zero -soul searching

No comments: