merry little christmas

想念你的压抑
在这声音舒缓

圣诞节的气氛
我好喜欢
似乎在这节日
一切的不愉快
都被欢笑赶走

握手,拥抱,感谢,眼泪
平常
只盼望朋友 亲友 爱人
也能 放下拘谨
勇敢 放肆 的去回应



希望  你妳您也回应...

but most of all
when snowflakes fall
i... wish you love..

闭上眼的世界

就这样
2012
就这样 不留情 飞逝过去
我脚步 不情愿 但也踏近那陌生

这么不给机会啊?!
我还没 拾起 信心啊 我的天天天

谁能在这短时间 明白
明白每一秒的珍贵 每一秒对我来的珍贵？
我或许会把那珍贵的每一秒换来您的白头偕老
哈!
妄想.

让我跑吧
不再见白天的跑 不再感受风的跑
此到..... 老.



hello 2013 :)

跳越这一环
就能得到我要的
解放,

傻瓜.

and so what if i just

you only live once, but if you do it right,

once is enough..

一次就足够

有点忘了

my eyes are on You

i want to really do some good changes to my routine now..

oh well 3rd quarter mark of the year, it's time to review goals set in the beginning of the year.

i still have 3 months time! GO GO GO no time to waste!

and 129days for you

想念 你的温度 你的发香

giving anything lesser than your best is sacrificing the gift

34.

bring me to Your highest rock.

i'm i'm and i AM an overcomer.

drawing near

and if u have any other way.



什么都有其实什么都没有.

i smiled. cause i feel better.

tu me manques

today i ran frm home to upp thomson and back home.. haha.. wasn't prepared for such run.. but i guess i just want something out of my comfort.. deliberately took a wrong turn, exploring wherever my legs can take me to..

i ran pass reservoirs, canals, long stretch of houses, even entered into an army protected area and lost my way in it only to re-emerge back to civilization when i choose to bash thru.. haha i was right beside the expressway when i came out of it.. finally got home after a long 6hrs of adventure, a little sunburned but 

satisfying.

long time since i felt this way. so free spirited. at the furthest point of my run i sat down, at a park along upp thomson. considering whether i can continue to run to macritchie or further without water, food.. and the sun is coming on top of my head.. the thought of continuing only lasted for another few more mins, i decided to rest a good half an hour before any further run. pull my hair and lowered my head.

i look around my bench.
i smell the air, i feel the sun and i can hear people. humans. but i just can't, just can't detect a beat from my heart. my mind is so overwhelming and inhuman it silent my heart.. i've forgotten what i enjoyed, what i gave thanks, what i risk my life for.. what kept me running?
i turn around and went home. my hiding place.. anywhere with You..

i miss you friend.. but i will let u be u and let me be me..

well u deserve a better me :)

痛 到入骷

不方便的很， 爱你
想要了解的， 太多

我不是超人 给我您的启示吧
翻来覆去要睡也不着
好了 不说了
给我自己点空间
望答案在释怀瞬间

说到你 我好象变小孩

5.

nice, song.

and so

happy birthday.

wwMww

and i'm all hype up to do work.... 
时刻我都在想你 哈哈 有份担心我是否忘情
还是...... 不知道
视讯模糊 往那才对?
开心的跳起了舞? lol 傻瓜

 

77days left to ORD

and it's this day... where counter hit 77 days... i'm ord-ing soon.. oh my...

i just went LOUD! camp.. was given the privileged to lead a house hahah.. so much fun.. my fb was bombard with photos, and this is the very 1st time i'm not uncomfortable with the excessive exposure of me on social media.. it actually helped me(surprisingly).. the photos is evident to many of my friends that I AM(proud to declare) connected to a group of fun-loving human..

it cleared the cloud/mist/smoke whatever it is from others, some were unsure and asked me, "it is a church camp?!?!"(yup they can't believe for it looks extremely fun!) and i for the very 1st time, again, admit relationship i have with the church.. i finally let go that little resistance and pride i have.. i was afraid to proclaim.. thinking if i do, what if i don't behave like one? i'd be sucha embarrassment... but then who is perfect? hahaha.. yeah who is? there is actually no one perfect human on Earth standing so why should i be shy of my imperfection.. why should i then be shy of my faith..

well here goes.. i'm a God-loving people-caring CHRISTIAN! :)


oh it's a happy day.. my off day haha...
i'm nearing my end day in the service.. life in office is actually improving and definitely much fulfilling compared to when i just got posted there 8 months ago.. i'm relief with the sudden change of attitude from my superior, really thankful that he is now much cooperative and way better mannered haha... yeap working hard and enduring finally pays off... those day where i have to reprint and re-edit my AI for him 8 times so he can sign on and let me continue conducting is gone.. haha

ah.. i'm excited and nervous what's after NS.... i believe it's not gonna be a smooth sailing transition neither will it be easy for me to break thru.. but hey! what is easy in life? if i use 9gag vocab to describe how i feel now......

hahaha

this and that

i was sharing..

such an awkward position we're held at now.. neither we are fiddling at foundation floor nor are we jumping joy at roof celebrating our sweet smelling victory.. lol we're now halfway midway of nowhere in this muti approach objective(army term).. it is really.. then.. matter of mind.

these miles clocked by little me till now have not been expected or visualise long ago when i was in green (sec sch) preparing my o's lvl..time past and what's ahead is still cloudy even i'm now STILL faithfully in green uniform.. *oh... i can't wait..

yet all that has been done or said was purely not a chance of insight but determination.. an idea to just.. KEEP MOVING...

i had been thinking is it really only the rich gets richer while the poor just suck thumb and deteriorate. if it is.. i might just want to stop, and start consolidating everything i can gather within my reach now.. for then i might slow down my process a little.. prolong my happiness just a little more..

i'm 23 this year.. i don't have a fat saving.. i did't accomplish any award.. my studies was a mess.. and worst i'm gonna leave the place where it's my only achievements lately, -SAF, soon.. today i stumble upon questions why i did't just sign on to my only excellent till now, again.

but then truthfully.. i don't treat it as excelling in that simulated world.. so what if u're a general? can't help it but to just think that u're in the end just a pawn for politics..

so then what makes the poor rich?

i heard a motivating word frm the airwave from a millionaire - jim rohn

he mention something like.. what he really gain being a millionaire is not the money but the values/lifestyle/habits/mindset becoming one... 

i'm not saying i want to be a millionaire.. but i want to be rich.. richly fulfilled in life.. 

is then that's why the poor always stay poor because they were unable to change their values/lifestyle/habits/mindset??

i got hope...

if i'm able to convert and steer my all those above to the manner of a, i deem successful, man.. am i theoretically as successful as them? wow.. i can't wait to move..

excites me.............

gosh 146 days to ord

i question my existence here in tds.. they don't need me neither am i value adding to their operation. the fact is i'm just waiting to ord. and they are just tolerating me till i ord..

did i commission for this? this "real ops" they always put on their mouth is truly a torturous drag to my life.. i don't feel a single bit happy to serve them and many times it delay my progression as a civilian.. most likely i might need to miss the coming climbing instructor course for i'll be in camp taking care of NSman, watching them slack and laze around in their defense exercise while the Earth continue to revolve mercilessly without them.. not a second spared.. this is what i worked hard for?

where is all the OCS spirit we've talked and discuss? where have all my motivation that brought me out of brunei jungle and overrun taiwan's microwave been? where had my tears from the parade square, after 82 days to commission tekan-ing, after PAC and after the moment i threw my peak cap, flowed to?

all these are superficial? or just a facade SAF built to toy all singapore male youth adult.. because really i've grown to love my country, my possible contribution to the force and my friends working along side.. but now i fell out of love, heart broken and despair..

sucha disgrace i would say to be talking bout this while they appointed me a leadership role when i should be the one (cheesy) lead, excel, overcome and not the one whining..

back to ground zero -soul searching

flows

47 days passed since the last post.. and things have gone a little out of expectation.. some went well some just left hanging unsolved..

i wasn't expecting to be a connect grp leader that fast neither was i expecting the multiplication to come 14 days after. wasn't really sure nor ready for anything of such.

the truth is i don't even have time to sort myself out.. (i was seeing myself to leadership role after i cultivate a much regulated lifestyle). now i'm just trying my best to be ever since the responsibility bestow upon me.

i asked myself why so am i still running this race when i know i still lack such hugh gap between me and my dream. why do i need to constantly watch my health, fitness.. sacrificing time to train, money on equipment, relationship sometimes.. i made myself out of the norm, which some call that leadership, while the rest might just see it uncool or a fool..

i kept myself discipline. spending minimum on entertainment/fashion/leisure so at least i'm a few dollars nearer to that.. that which was once surfing, climbing overseas, whitewater kayaking.. for all these i ate bread for lunch, run to work place, schedule work on off day and push my nsf duties to all midnight shift and spend those morning working/training. and then finally did those..

but "that" now is really really far from achieving it.. i'm a little worry and so try to not share with anybody.. thinking if i did not accomplish at least no one knew.. no one knew i fail..

but i have learned from pass experience being afraid of failure is one back tracking attitude..

this time want to be braver.. wanna be true to myself.. and mostly just setting myself up on this one-way escalator...

well so my dream.......

when i pray that i wanna scale the everest in my life..

i literally meant it...

everyday