去了好远的你那方

hey... erm. hey...

默想前方
好像 很多还没完成
好像 还可以做再多一点

你好像 还没准备好
你好像 还可以做再多一点

我好像 还没忘记好
我好像 还可以做再多一点



讲个故事吧 让故事把细节抹去
把想要传达的 在文字徒步
走去你那头的 都没有我的身影
抵达您那头的 只存有我的善意

有一天  有个傻傻的男生
有一天  有个傻傻的男生
有一天......
有个傻傻的男生.

他....... 不想再傻
不想坚持 不想期待 不想再拥抱
不是不爱 但却实想转道
来临的那一班 他不搭了

这苹果 他不带走了
傻傻的 写了封信和苹果
过了太久 忘了地址
粘了信封 按手祷告
望她能收到 他没附上收信地址的祝福

傻傻的男生
去了熟悉的山上
看着沿海的黄昏 火车环着山脚往远去渺小
举起握紧信封的右手
对的时刻 他放了手
让微风寄信
咬着苹果
闭了眼睛
感受海风

傻傻的
男生
掉了一滴泪...

hope not the last merry post!

Hi all, merry christmas.....

its another year.
let's treat this as my last post. im having a hard time to even login to the website with my failing memory of hotmail's password haha..
my name was lalalor... hahha that's almost 10 yrs back since anyone called me that.

2015,
i graduated! from uni.. it was june or august (i cant even rmb the month) since graduation, and my motivations to conquer the marketplace slowly dims... now what's circling in my mind maybe how much i can earn for the month and really how to getby.. oh my...

i joined osportz with eugene, have been working hard clinching programs and creating programs... my sole excitement at work now maybe the coming taiwan training camp in feb and later the championship in july 2016.. have been training hard running, climbing, swimming.. it came such a shock to me when i ran 11:48mins for ippt... hahhaa what a joke... the addition of 3 mins since my last ippt might be also from my 9kg weight gain hhahahaha..... basically im a bump now... im overweight (75kg) and lost my physique..

it all started from an ankle injury then it leads to many other joints failing and of course ill discipline have push me southwards.... was really fortunate now the ankle joint have stabled and im back to running again! can't wait for the many adventure ahead with my soon to come fitness.. haha

have been thinking about the future. much uncertainty, much potential too. im spoiled for choice. haha.. that's really like what i posted many years ago "一百种生活".. well social media sure did not help by showing even more possibility of how others led their life and how not to. im just confused maybe.. didt want to make a wrong choice to be exact... i pray for clarity... a clear path ahead...

2016 will be fantastic for me..
it will be..
and it will be for my future is with You Lord.....

what's in my mind now
1) Career
2) money
3) fitness
4) future GF (haha what....)
5) the CG's thanksgiving
6) how to spend my 2015 countdown
7) money
8) money
9) money
10) and yes money, and im quite hungry now.. ahh damn gotta lose weight......

Be hardworking willard.....
you are blessed and highly favored...
don't try to make a living, just live :)

hi

2015

hope this is not the last.



for now

viva la vida.................................................

脑里的他和她, 和祂

hello..

你好吗?

merry christmas.....

before the year end wanna remind myself of the good things that happened.

I had fun and never felt more alive then now this present moment.

SOT cover most of my memory bout 2014..

ending now with my involvement to orienteering and climbing.

did rinjani and also went back playboating......

it's coming my very last semester of my life, at least for my youth. 2015 im gonna graduate.

i feel alive, i feel motivated, i am... feeling it.

that it's gonna be good time again

maybe it is time to open up myself again...

maybe it is time.............

Christmas differently

merry christmas..

this christmas is a special one..
the usual will be filled with good foods, new faces and many laughter...
this one had most of that too but with many more decision concerning the future..

im glad. the cg with God's grace have grown.
i give thanks not just to my fellow members but also really to other cg leaders and members who stood by us.. it was a much needed help... and im just happy to see things fall in place, like there's an order and system around, felt safe and definitely way more confident (in being able to complete the works) than when we started.....

maybe.. THAT was lay out in front of me in such manner deliberately for a purpose.. i mean i dont really learn a lesson out of this but i have definitely experience changes in my life.. what's better is my perspective have also widen thru this season..

thru the whole 2013 i've not really think about what's gg ahead for me.. maybe is the start of school that busy my life out.. it is only this season or technically this month, more specifically the exact moment derrick left for his exchange..
i've pre-am myself that without my leader around things would (naturally) go out of hand in the cg.. so many weeks i did try to talk myself out over and over again haha, its a good mental prep..
but i didt anticipate the many life decision that would come to stack ontop which was totally unprepared..

i choose
to shun away talking about it to others.. i wanted some space for myself to really think about it....
i mean i can really read what's in their mind of my friends once i shared these... and i really do not want to burden them with these... or truthfully i just not want to hear what i knew they will tell me...

i dont want to hear those words of encouragement, always felt it is cheap.......

coming to the mid of december i was really worn out by the vision (or i called it expectation then) of the cg...
i just cant think of a logical explanation for me to cont doing the works of God at THAT moment....
like there's so many impt decision and thoughts i must make regarding to my life than the cg's

but there i found it..........

there is such an immerse presence in this.. like it pierce right to the main flow of blood in my heart, it skipped a beat..

motivating me in such manner.. haha.... definitely His ways are always higher......
MY life to begin with is not just bout me........
my comforter, my constant....

因为爱情

触景伤情.

keep climbing

继续
无常

year coming to an end. many targets for the year yet complete.
ahhh
我真的感觉到了
在需要做决定的阶段
好多不喜欢
成长是接受还是突破现实
不确定

提醒自己不能平淡度过
生活
傅着木制地板 闻着微风带来的凉快
看那风铃摇摆 让我感到活着的爽快

心跳 减速
再一次 酝酿 冲次的动力!!

点点滴滴

你好吗?

久等自己再愿写出心情的勇气
终于在今天溢出我压抑的手"碗"
没位了! 没空间了

我看着别人的快乐不感到嫉妒
但羡慕 不羡慕他们拥有的
羡慕他们的坚定 能坚持到最后

我也想
在此刻 决定
流不一样的血
掉不一样的泪
我不一样的我

奔跑.
我想再用心冲动一次

夯!

freshday coming

是结束了吗?
就这样,
那为了什么而开始?

不想说
但好像 蠢了一回
不想哭
不想为 你掉眼泪

再告诉我 281天前的自己
白痴!
白痴!
白痴!
白痴 白痴 白痴!

眼前的黑不是黑
你说的白是什么白
人们说的"天空蓝"
是我记忆中那团白云背后的蓝天

形容你的"天空蓝"
是我思绪中那团白云背后的蓝天
是我生命中那些琐碎背后的唯一

想不起 也 对不起...

恶啊..

coming april 16 again

hello...

my future...
你还记得我吗?

remember our dreams? our promises?
be happy... (you must be) you always been..
don't forget how u got by..
don't be lazy...
we have many more to do..
be thankful.....
be filled with gratitude.....

我很多想 说
又不知该 说什么







你还好吗?

merry little christmas

想念你的压抑
在这声音舒缓

圣诞节的气氛
我好喜欢
似乎在这节日
一切的不愉快
都被欢笑赶走

握手,拥抱,感谢,眼泪
平常
只盼望朋友 亲友 爱人
也能 放下拘谨
勇敢 放肆 的去回应



希望  你妳您也回应...

but most of all
when snowflakes fall
i... wish you love..

闭上眼的世界

就这样
2012
就这样 不留情 飞逝过去
我脚步 不情愿 但也踏近那陌生

这么不给机会啊?!
我还没 拾起 信心啊 我的天天天

谁能在这短时间 明白
明白每一秒的珍贵 每一秒对我来的珍贵？
我或许会把那珍贵的每一秒换来您的白头偕老
哈!
妄想.

让我跑吧
不再见白天的跑 不再感受风的跑
此到..... 老.



hello 2013 :)

跳越这一环
就能得到我要的
解放,

傻瓜.

and so what if i just

you only live once, but if you do it right,

once is enough..

一次就足够

有点忘了

my eyes are on You

i want to really do some good changes to my routine now..

oh well 3rd quarter mark of the year, it's time to review goals set in the beginning of the year.

i still have 3 months time! GO GO GO no time to waste!

and 129days for you

想念 你的温度 你的发香

giving anything lesser than your best is sacrificing the gift

34.

bring me to Your highest rock.

i'm i'm and i AM an overcomer.

drawing near

and if u have any other way.



什么都有其实什么都没有.

i smiled. cause i feel better.

tu me manques

today i ran frm home to upp thomson and back home.. haha.. wasn't prepared for such run.. but i guess i just want something out of my comfort.. deliberately took a wrong turn, exploring wherever my legs can take me to..

i ran pass reservoirs, canals, long stretch of houses, even entered into an army protected area and lost my way in it only to re-emerge back to civilization when i choose to bash thru.. haha i was right beside the expressway when i came out of it.. finally got home after a long 6hrs of adventure, a little sunburned but 

satisfying.

long time since i felt this way. so free spirited. at the furthest point of my run i sat down, at a park along upp thomson. considering whether i can continue to run to macritchie or further without water, food.. and the sun is coming on top of my head.. the thought of continuing only lasted for another few more mins, i decided to rest a good half an hour before any further run. pull my hair and lowered my head.

i look around my bench.
i smell the air, i feel the sun and i can hear people. humans. but i just can't, just can't detect a beat from my heart. my mind is so overwhelming and inhuman it silent my heart.. i've forgotten what i enjoyed, what i gave thanks, what i risk my life for.. what kept me running?
i turn around and went home. my hiding place.. anywhere with You..

i miss you friend.. but i will let u be u and let me be me..

well u deserve a better me :)

痛 到入骷

不方便的很， 爱你
想要了解的， 太多

我不是超人 给我您的启示吧
翻来覆去要睡也不着
好了 不说了
给我自己点空间
望答案在释怀瞬间

说到你 我好象变小孩

5.