flows

47 days passed since the last post.. and things have gone a little out of expectation.. some went well some just left hanging unsolved..

i wasn't expecting to be a connect grp leader that fast neither was i expecting the multiplication to come 14 days after. wasn't really sure nor ready for anything of such.

the truth is i don't even have time to sort myself out.. (i was seeing myself to leadership role after i cultivate a much regulated lifestyle). now i'm just trying my best to be ever since the responsibility bestow upon me.

i asked myself why so am i still running this race when i know i still lack such hugh gap between me and my dream. why do i need to constantly watch my health, fitness.. sacrificing time to train, money on equipment, relationship sometimes.. i made myself out of the norm, which some call that leadership, while the rest might just see it uncool or a fool..

i kept myself discipline. spending minimum on entertainment/fashion/leisure so at least i'm a few dollars nearer to that.. that which was once surfing, climbing overseas, whitewater kayaking.. for all these i ate bread for lunch, run to work place, schedule work on off day and push my nsf duties to all midnight shift and spend those morning working/training. and then finally did those..

but "that" now is really really far from achieving it.. i'm a little worry and so try to not share with anybody.. thinking if i did not accomplish at least no one knew.. no one knew i fail..

but i have learned from pass experience being afraid of failure is one back tracking attitude..

this time want to be braver.. wanna be true to myself.. and mostly just setting myself up on this one-way escalator...

well so my dream.......

when i pray that i wanna scale the everest in my life..

i literally meant it...